A few years ago, I had never even heard of kratom.
Kratom sounded like just another herbal supplement—something harmless, even healing. I didn’t know the risks and dark outcomes kratom could bring until my husband started using it. What began as an experiment in natural wellness and aid to his recovery quickly spiraled into something much darker: mood swings, withdrawal symptoms, physical pain, financial strain, and emotional turmoil that shook our household.
This isn’t an anti-herbal rant or a scare tactic. This is our story. I’m sharing it not to shame anyone who uses kratom, but to shed light on the risks that often go undiscussed, especially when something is sold as “natural” or “safe.”
What is kratom?
Kratom is a tropical tree native to Southeast Asia. Consumption of its leaves produces both stimulant effects (in low doses) and sedative effects (in high doses). One of the most unsettling things we discovered during our experience is just how easy it is to get kratom and how little oversight surrounds it. Kratom is legal in most U.S. states, although a growing number (including Alabama, Arkansas, Indiana, Rhode Island, Vermont, and Wisconsin) have banned it.
Despite increasing concerns from medical professionals and public health agencies, kratom is still freely sold in smoke shops, gas stations, convenience stores, herbal/vitamin shops, and online marketplaces. There’s no prescription required, no ID check in many places, and no medical supervision. Many people assume that since it is sold over the counter and legal, it must be safe … but that is far from the truth.
Unlike pharmaceuticals or even over-the-counter medications, kratom isn’t regulated by the FDA. That means there’s no standardized dosing, no required warnings, and no guarantee of purity. In reality, legality doesn’t equal safety, and accessibility doesn’t mean it’s harmless.
Kratom had a devastating effect on my family
Kratom turned into something that consumed nearly every part of my husband’s life and our family’s stability. We didn’t realize it at first. Kratom snuck in like a quick fix, but what followed was a slow unraveling.
At his worst, my husband was taking 8 to 10 kratom shots per day (those little 2 oz liquid bottles you find at smoke shops or gas stations). At around $10 to $15 each, it added up fast. In one month alone, he spent over $3,200 just on kratom. That’s more than our mortgage, groceries, and utilities combined. It created a huge strain not only on our finances but on our lives.
Physically, the toll on my husband was even worse. He started experiencing chronic joint pain, muscle weakness, and chest pains that scared both of us. At times, he couldn’t get comfortable in his own body. He looked exhausted, even when he had slept. And despite all of that, his tolerance kept rising, which meant he needed to take more and more just to avoid feeling awful. It wasn’t about getting a boost anymore; it was about staying functional and avoiding the crash.
Eventually, my husband tried to quit kratom
We were both hopeful that he could put it behind him. But nothing could have prepared us for what came next. Not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. He had cold sweats, tremors, crushing anxiety, insomnia, vomiting, and restless legs. He described it as worse than heroin withdrawal (something he had gone through in the past). There was no comfort, no easy way out, and barely any guidance from doctors who knew what to do. We felt alone, overwhelmed, and desperate for help. I watched the person I love disappear behind this thing.
I couldn’t believe how little awareness or support existed around kratom. If someone had only told us how addictive it could become or how painful it would be to break free, things might have gone differently. But the truth is, most people don’t know.
As my husband’s dependence on kratom deepened, I saw the spark fade from his eyes. He became more withdrawn, anxious, and unstable. He often felt hopeless, irritable, and paranoid, and small stresses would send him into emotional tailspins. His confidence disappeared. He started questioning his worth, his ability to provide for us, and whether he’d ever feel normal again. At his lowest point, he contemplated suicide. He told me he felt trapped. He said the withdrawal made him feel like there was no escape, like the pain in his body and mind would never end. He felt like a burden to our family. That moment will never leave me. This wasn’t the man I married. And it wasn’t just addiction, it was despair.
He reached a turning point
After months of physical and emotional drain, my husband knew it was time to change. He needed help, beyond what his sponsor and mutual support groups could offer. We were on the verge of losing everything—this wasn’t just his battle anymore.
We found a 30-day inpatient rehab center that was familiar with kratom dependence. We didn’t know what would come next, but we knew we couldn’t go on the way things were. During the early days of detox, the withdrawal symptoms were severe, especially since his body had grown so dependent on high doses. He would have intense stomach pain, restless legs, GI upset, and insomnia. But the worst of his symptoms were his mental fog and loss of his mental clarity; he was not expecting that. The medical team at the rehab center started him on a carefully managed dose of Suboxone. Suboxone is now recognized as a standard treatment for kratom. Even though kratom isn’t technically an opioid, it acts on many of the same receptors. Suboxone helped ease the brutal physical symptoms and gave his body a chance to reset.
Rehab, of course, was hard. In the course of those 30 days, I began to see sparks of the man I had married coming back. Rehab wasn’t a magical fix, but it gave him another chance and a foundation to start over. My husband learned how to cope with some of his stressors and was with a community of people who shared similar stories.
There is life after kratom
Today, we’re not the same family we were before kratom entered our lives. In some ways, that’s a good thing. We’re stronger, more aware, and more connected than we ever were during the months when addiction had a grip on our home. But the truth is, healing doesn’t happen overnight. It’s ongoing, messy, and deeply personal.
There are still hard moments. Days when the stress piles up, when emotional triggers creep in. There are times when fear resurfaces: fear that it could happen again, fear that I might miss the signs. But now we have tools, communication, and support systems in place that we didn’t have before. We talk openly, and we’ve learned to set boundaries that protect both his sobriety and our family’s peace. I’m proud of my husband for facing something so difficult head-on, for choosing life when it felt easier to give up, and for fighting every day to be the partner and father he wants to be. And I’m proud of us for holding on through the storm, even when it felt like we were barely surviving. We still carry scars from this experience, financial, emotional, and relational, but we carry them together. And those scars remind us just how real this battle was. How real it still is for so many others.
If there’s one thing I hope people take from our story, it’s this: Kratom isn’t harmless just because it’s easy to get or labeled “natural.” And if someone you love is struggling with it, you’re not alone and neither are they. There is help. There is hope. And there is life on the other side of addiction. Recovery is not a finish line. It’s a lifestyle and every day, we choose it again.
