I knew I needed help. Getting it was another story.
My drug use started with scoliosis. That’s where it all started.
You’re trying to treat real physical pain, and then you get addicted—and then what? I’m 58 now, and I started trying to get sober when I was about 38. I’ve been through six treatment programs, and it just never worked. AA didn’t work for me. It felt too judgmental.
That was actually the first thing that got me to Workit. I thought, okay, they say they’re not going to judge me, but let’s see.
I had been thinking about getting on Suboxone because I got caught up in that opioid crisis era. I’d heard about it, researched it, and I thought, “This is what I need. I know this is what’s going to work for me.” I also suffer from chronic pain, and it seems to help with that, too.*
It was hard. I fought hard. You shouldn’t have to fight that hard for a maintenance medicine. Honestly, I think that’s all I ever needed in the end: something to keep me steady. My doctor finally referred me to Workit. She told me, “I want you to have a safe place where somebody isn’t just going to disappear on you. This is your life we’re talking about.”
Workit Health has been a whole new experience.
When you first come in, you have more of a one-on-one with somebody at first, and that really helped me. She helped me through some tough times at the very beginning. This was before the forums came up, so I dove into all the classes.
And nobody got mad at me if I didn’t go to a meeting. Nobody side-eyed me. I get to be myself. I like that. I hated feeling like I had to wear a mask. At Workit, you don’t have to. There’s no judgment here.
I’ve been with Workit a little over a year now. I can’t say enough about how much it’s changed my life. For the first time in 25 years—however long I’d been trying—I feel okay. I feel okay.
I take my dose in the morning, and I’m good. I’m good. That’s it. I don’t think about drugs or drinking. I just don’t.
Everything has been really good.
I get support in my recovery, not judgment.
When you’ve fought with alcohol and drug addiction as long as I have, there’s a lot of shame and guilt that comes with it. Here at Workit, we get to talk about that. Nobody judges you. Nobody tells me I have to spill all my deepest, darkest secrets to somebody else. I’m just not doing that anymore.
The groups have been really good for me. People don’t have to keep things inside, and they don’t have to be scared. No one is going to pick you apart.
When you hit rock bottom, you’re vulnerable. The last thing you need is to be told what to do, or to be made to feel stupid, or judged—because you’re already carrying shame.
Punitive approaches don’t work. A little bit of yourself has to come through and say, “I want to do this.” And if you have that little seed or kernel, you go to a few groups, you start trying it on. You think, okay, this person could do it—maybe I can do it.
The approach at Workit is really, really good. And the amount of information they give us is really good. I’ve found that if you ask for more, they get you more. I tell people all the time, “They’ll give you more stuff. They have all these courses, and you can look at them whenever you need them.”
This program gives you the ability to actually live your life instead of feeling like, “I have to be at a meeting at four o’clock because they said so.” Who are “they,” anyway? People who struggle with this are told what to do all the time. Don’t we get sober so that, for once, maybe we can make our own decisions?
Workit made it so easy. It really was easy. It went as smooth as it could go.
You can recover from substance use, too.
If someone is struggling, I would tell them to give this a shot.
I actually know a young woman who’s been very sick and in pain and drinking really heavily, and I sent her the information from here. I told her, “Listen, I’ve told you my story. What’s the one thing I keep saying worked? It’s this. Just trust me. Give it a shot.”
She doesn’t need anybody judging her. She needs a hand up.
It’s changed my life. It has shown me a whole new way to think about my addiction and who I am. I feel more like myself than I ever have. I feel more like Tracey than I did before—a better version of Tracey.
It makes me emotional to talk about because it was a hard life. Sometimes I think about all the time I lost. But no, I didn’t waste it. And I certainly never, ever felt like I do now.
Now I can travel. I can live my life. I’m okay.
*Note: Workit Health providers don’t prescribe Suboxone (buprenorphine/naloxone) for pain.