I had parents who saw the signs of an anxiety disorder (and later depression) and took the appropriate steps to get me the help and reassurance that I needed. It sounds odd to admit, but there are a number of reasons that I am glad depression and anxiety are somewhat common in my family.
Recovery is about learning how to live life not just without the use of drugs and alcohol, but also how to deal with the range emotions and feelings we’ve been suppressing for years. The same is true of anxiety: we have to learn how to live with feeling anxious without trying to avoid it.
I thought there was no way that if people felt like I was feeling they could have stayed sober. Who could just sit with crazy thoughts coming a mile a minute, heart beating like a hamster and not take something to fix it?
I stood there, with my eyes closed, picturing myself taking a bath while drinking a big glass of wine. This delusional thought was so relaxing, I may have even smiled. When the train slammed on its brakes, and I had to get off at my stop, it brought me right back to my reality: I. Can’t. Drink.