This was my third year speaking to the senior class on retreat in the school where I work. As usual, I shared my journey in recovery and the faith that came as a result. With 12 years sober, I am fortunate that my school trusts me to share a nearly full disclosure of my history with drugs and alcohol.
“It’s just us three from here on out,” I remember thinking as I stood in my kitchen and stared at the scruffy faces of my two cats. See, I was getting divorced and it was hard not to feel like a divorced old cat lady.
I’ve grappled with depression since childhood. It would manifest in feelings of hopelessness, low mood, lethargy, isolation, and a sense of despair. I didn’t want to do anything and family would complain that no one could please me. I was difficult to be around — even I didn’t want to be in my company.
Fear is the biggest barrier to change, even if that change is for the better and will improve our lives. There is no doubt that getting sober is a daunting prospect — it’s terrifying.
When I think back to getting sober more than six years ago, there are many reasons I know I was successful: I had a supportive family. I had the tools and resources to go to treatment. I had the necessary mindset. I knew I was better off without alcohol in my life.
Months ago I innocently tweeted: “I’m all down with the new sobriety/sober movement but please let’s not forget among the mocktails, the trendiness and the tees with cutesy slogans that for many of us, sobriety wasn’t a health trend, lifestyle choice or a socio-political statement but a matter of life and death.”
The Workit team asked if I could write an article on self-care because articles on self-care aren’t written by men often. My instinct told me they were right about that.
Nine months ago, when I found out I was pregnant, I was terrified.
At this moment, my life is what you could politely call a shambles. Shambles, let’s go with that. A sh!tshow, a disaster, a hot mess would all work too but shambles sounds like such a classy way to say falling apart.
While in my addiction, there were several activities that I convinced myself I needed to be drunk or high in order to enjoy.
Getting Sober” is One Thing — Sustaining It For the Long Term is Another.
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