Note: The content of this blog is derived from a video interview that can be watched in full by clicking here. Shariyf asked us to meet him in a park named after his father, who was the first Black councilman from the North Ward of Irvington, NJ.
My name is Shariyf. It means honorable in Arabic. I’ve always lived up to being an honorable person. But I think my younger self could have been more honorable in a positive way. Maybe I could have saved some of my friends.
I’ve always been a good person, but I was part of a gang and leading the gang. Meanwhile, my father was a councilman trying to do the right thing, and his son was all over the place.
What has kept you going in recovery?
My son needs me. I’ve got full custody.
He’s the only person besides my parents that’s been with me through it all. He’s seen me on the streets, when I used to be in the mix. He’s seen me in prison. He’s seen me walk out them gates. He’s seen me change my life.
I remember him saying to me one time on a visit, “I wish I was a mouse.”
So I was like, “Why?”
He said, “So I could come in here and see you whenever I want.”
And I knew that once I walked out them gates, I couldn’t go back.
My parole officer was also on me, which I thanked her for in the end. But I think the split from my son is what did it. Once I knew I was getting back with him, I said to myself, ‘You’ve got to change.’
How did you come across Workit Health?
I’m on YouTube a lot. I just happened to see an ad. I was listening to the ad, and I downloaded the app. I just downloaded it; I hadn’t checked it out yet. I just thought, ‘Let me just download it so that I don’t lose it.’
I kept telling the people around me, “I’m gonna stop. I’m telling you, I’m going to stop. You’ve seen me do it before. I’ve shown you that I could do it before. And I know that I can do it.”
I sent the ad to my mom. I said, “I found an ad. I don’t have to go to the meetings. It’s online.”
She was like, “All right. Try it.”
God don’t make no mistakes. I saw the Workit Health ad right when I was supposed to see the ad.
How has it been, being in an online program with Workit?
Getting started wasn’t a long process. If it was something where I had to wait, let’s say, two months … who knows. But because the response was so quick, I was like, ‘All right. I can get this journey started.’
Integrating it into my life has been simple. If I’m feeling some kind of way, I just go to the forums and type whatever I’m feeling. Somebody is going to respond. For other people, I’m that somebody sometimes.
The meetings have been the most helpful part. We’re all going through our own mental battles and daily battles with life, the world, family relationships, or whatever it is. Being able to go into meetings and just let it out is so helpful. I saw it yesterday. As we were talking, some people weren’t taking part. But the discussion made them open up. “Damn, I’m going through this. Thank y’all for this.”
So I think the meetings are great. Not only for yourself, but for the other people in the group. You have a comfort place to go to. You have a home. It’s like we’re all family or know each other. And we literally just met each other in these groups. It’s been great.
I want to shout out my provider, Emilee. Since day one, Emilee has been great. I’ve broken down and cried to her. She’s really been great for me.
What has life been like since you came out of prison and got into recovery?
I’ve been in the insurance industry since probably 3 months after I came home from prison. I came home with the mindset, ‘You were a felon before, but now you’re a convicted felon. So, you have to come out here and be your own boss.’
My main goal was becoming a real estate investor. It took a while: three or four years.
I had to do whatever I had to, to stay focused on making sure that my son was good and on seeing him grow into a good man. I wanted him to be able to say the same things about me that I said about my father.
My parents told me right from wrong. If I had followed what they said, I wouldn’t have made a lot of the bad choices that I made. I told my son, “They could only give me a ‘right or wrong’ perspective. I can actually give you a street perspective, from being boots-on-the-ground.”
I always let him know, “There’s nothing you can’t talk to me about. Because I’m never going to judge it. Look at my life and what I’ve been through. I’m never going to judge you.”
What do you tell people about your recovery?
I’ve been able to go to prison and come back, change my life, and now be a positive role model for my community to look at. My community loves me.
On the corner is a liquor store with a whole bunch of alcoholics. I’m able to go out there and talk to them. “Look, I did it. You probably don’t think I used to wake up and come to the liquor store, but I did.”
When I was going through my pill addiction, I said, “I’m going through this right now. Life ain’t just hard on you. It’s me, too, going through it.” But I said, “I’m going to stop. And when I stop, you’re going to see. It’s going to show you that you can do it, too.” And I stopped.
You know, God has a different plan for all of us. I think my plan was to go through what I needed to go through, because he knew that I could help other people. I’d be a source for them to come to with whatever they’re going through. “Whether you’re not ready or whether you’re ready, you can come to me. You can talk to me. I can help you.” I just simply say that.
I have recommended Workit to people, because it worked. Simple. Workit worked.
For me, my source is Workit. I’ll tell people, “You could just download an app and do it from the app.”
My mother does the same; she’s helped a lot of people. She’s more about finding places to go, but I know everybody’s not comfortable with that. You may be more comfortable in the comfort of your own home. So here’s an app that you could download where you’ll find other people going through the same exact battle that you’re going through.
I remind them every time, “If I could do it, you can do it.”
You can always have another relapse, but you’re not always guaranteed another recovery.
